Like eating an elephant

Unless you have a massive budget and a whole crew of peoples to do your work for you a la Fixer Upper or Property Brothers, fixing up a house is a lot like eating an elephant.  It can’t be done all at once, so it has to be done one bite at a time.

I had big plans for last weekend.  I was gonna roll up my sleeves and GET STUFF DONE.  My plans for the weekend were to:

  • Paint Anthony’s dresser drawers
  • Hang pictures in the office
  • Organize my desk in the office
  • Hang things on the wall in my kitchen
  • Clean out the garage to make room for a (my) car
  • Hang curtains in the bedroom
  • Laundry, including bedding
  • Search for perfect slipcover for our couch

And here is the list of things I actually accomplished:

  • Clean out the garage to make room for a (my) car
  • Laundry, including bedding*

*I had to wash our bedding 3 freaking times this weekend.  I’ll get to that in a minute.

I woke up on Saturday morning totally pumped and ready to work.  I got myself some cereal, made a cup of coffee, put on my most serious yoga pants, and proceeded to glue my ass to the couch all day.  Sure, I occasionally got up to do a little thing or two, (mostly to plug my laptop back in because heaven forbid I not stare absently at Pinterest while I binge-watch How I Met Your Mother and Flip or Flop all day long), but for the most part I stayed put.  My parents and my brother Alex came over in the afternoon for a little while to get all of their stuff out of our garage.  There was a huge assortment of stuff (mostly tools) that belonged to my dad or my brothers that was left at our house after all the pre-move-in projects were completed, and they were taking up basically the entire garage.  So they came to get those, hung out for a little bit, then went home, and I sat right back down to do mostly nothing.

Here’s their giant pile-o-mess:

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And here is MY CAR PARKED IN MY GARAGE WEEEEEE!!!

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I’m pretty bad at Saturday productivity because my couch is so comfy, and my pets are so cuddly and coffee is so good and NETFLIX! Also, moving is expensive, and since we had to pay for the whole month at our apartment (sending glares at the property manager for that one) and pay for utilities at both the apartment and the house, we’re pretty much completely out of money for the month too.  So that adds to the reasons that I did basically nothing this weekend; I just can’t really afford to until next month.  So in 2 weeks, I will probably have a lot more exciting before and after pictures of projects I completed, but for now…nope.  If it ain’t free, it ain’t gettin’ done.

I did, however, do the laundry. I washed all our dirty clothes; I generally wait until a section of the hamper is full before I wash stuff, so I’m not a scheduled-laundry-day person.  I do generally schedule when I wash the bedding, though, and I do it every Saturday(ish).  We are people who *sighs dramatically* let our dog up on the furniture.  This was not my call!  Anthony got Lucky as a puppy before we met, and by the time I entered the picture (and moved in, therefore getting a say in the matter) the damage was done.  Lucky goes on the couch or the bed basically whenever he wants, and if one of those isn’t available for some reason, he’ll hop up on the guest bed to take a nap.  So our bed pretty much always has black dog hair on/in it, which means I have to wash it at least once a week.  And yeah, sometimes it’s adorable that the dog is cuddled up under the blankets snoozing peacefully all cute-like, but it’s quickly losing its appeal now that we have a backyard.  Backyard=dirt, and Western Washington in Spring=rain, and dirt+rain=mud, and everyone knows how much dogs love mud.  Lucky comes inside from frolicking in his big lovely muddy outdoor haven with muddy paws, and jumps right up on the bed or the couch.  We have white bedding.  You see where this is going, yeah?

Saturday afternoon, I had washed the sheets and the quilt and remade the bed.  I LOVE getting into a neatly made bed with nice clean sheets in the evening.  I was SO looking forward to that on Saturday, but no.  No, no, of course no, the dog went outside for a while to do Dog Things, then came back inside and jumped on my bed.  And got mud all over it.  So I had to rewash everything.

We made it through the rest of Saturday without incident (mostly because he stops going outside after about 9pm, so we close the dog door cover thing and he’s in for the night with clean feeties), but then Sunday came.  He jumped on the damn bed again, and got the quilt all muddy.  So back in the wash that went.  The sheets were unscathed, though, since he had only jumped up at the end of the bed.  So I left those on as the quilt was in the washer.  BUT THEN HE JUMPED ON IT AGAIN AND GOT THE SHEETS ALL MUDDY AND I AM SO OVER THAT DOG AT THIS POINT!  So back in the wash the sheets went.  These things have now all been washed 3 times in 2 days.  And I am Over It.  So we are working on training him to stay off the bed, but old habits die hard, and I do not expect this to be easy.  But I cannot sleep in a bed covered in mud and I also cannot wash my bedding every single day because I am Lazy and ain’t nobody got time for that!  Ah, pets.  They’re great, really.

(Steve is wonderful and adorable and never makes messes and I LOVES HIM and I am also a total cat lady.  Just so we’re clear about that.)

This weekend, I have plans to get a lot of things done.  My BFF and her husband and their sweet baby are coming over for dinner on Saturday, but I have plans to accomplish quite a things before they do.

Things I Plan To Do This Weekend:

  • Go to IKEA with mom
  • Paint Anthony’s dresser drawers (seriously I can smell the drawer stink of death even when the drawers are closed)
  • Find a slipcover for our couch (which is 7ft long and therefore hard to find slipcovers for, because of course)
  • Get weed killer of some sort for our yard (except not RoundUp because I don’t want lung cancer, thanks)
  • Hang pictures in the office
  • Organize my desk in the office
  • Order blinds for the living room and guest room windows (we currently have a yellow sheet over our living room window…I bet our neighbors are thrilled with us as neighbors at this point)

Things I Will Likely Actually Do This Weekend:

  • …..*crickets*

So, basically nothing.  I have all these great things I want to do, but again, I am bad at Saturdays.  Plus, moving month is expensive.  Plus, Lazy.

Fixing up our house is like eating an elephant.  One bite at a time.  We’re currently just taking really tiny bites at really long intervals, but hopefully we can speed things up in May.  We’ll get there, one bite at a time.

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