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Calm, collected, TOTALLY NOT PANICKING

Well, this week has taken an interesting turn.

The initial plan to simply re-tile the floors this weekend has been thrown out the window and replaced with a plan to re-tile the floors, cover countertops, patch gigantic holes in our wall, reattach cabinets to the wall, reattach dishwasher to cabinets, install new backsplash over newly patched walls, reinstall trim, and touch up the paint.

…yeah, I’m stressed.

It’s a whole long story as to why the project got so out of hand, but basically:

  • A bunch of the ugly brown floor tiles are run under the cabinets.
  • In order to remove them, we had to get under the cabinets.
  • The cabinets are not only screwed into the wall, they are also glued to the wall. FREAKING GLUED.
  • In an effort to make it easier to remove the cabinets from the wall, the backsplash had to be removed from the wall. (We were going to redo the backsplash eventually, just not this month)
  • Removing the backsplash made big holes in the wall, which we now need to patch.
  • After removing the dishwasher and doing everything under the sun to pull the cabinets away from the wall in order to get to the tiles underneath them, my brother Brian and Anthony realized that the cabinet toe kick things can be removed, thus rendering it unnecessary to remove the cabinets.

*FACEPALM*

Oh, and Brian discovered a drawer in our kitchen that neither of us has ever noticed before.  We were taking everything out of the cabinets and removing the drawers in preparation for ripping the cabinets off the wall and I hear him ask, “What goes in this drawer?  It’s totally empty.”

SAY WHAT.

It turns out, there’s a drawer!  Another entire drawer in our very small kitchen that Anthony and I have failed to notice in the 9 months we’ve lived in our home.

There it is, mocking me.  It goes in that obvious drawer-hole in the corner. I will never be able to explain how Anthony and I had no clue it was there, especially since storage is hard to come by in our house.  We are idiots.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, some pictures of the absolute goddamn chaos that was happening in my house at 10:30pm on Tuesday night.

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“Hey Kels, come take a picture of my midriff.” -Brian

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I swear he smiles on occasion.

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The floor tiles are now removed in all the places we need, so that’s good.  Anthony scraped all the old mortar off the floors this week so it’s super smooth and ugly as shit. I went to Lowes after work last night (and was miraculously able to get someone to help me! So weird) and bought all the necessary things for laying tile. Except the tile, of course, because I bought that last week.

I also bought new backsplash tile; 16 sheets of white subway tile mosaic sheets. I am in heaven, because (like 99% of people nowadays) I LOVE WHITE SUBWAY TILE. I don’t think I’ll actually need all 16 sheets (they’re 12″x12″), but I always try to buy more of something than I’m going to need so that I don’t run out and I can return extra later.

I hated this backsplash. Oh, and those counters.

The problem, though, is that we want to update the countertops as well.  Which kind of needs to be done before we install the backsplash.  Our dream countertops are a beautiful quartz, but that is way out of our current price range, so we’re going with a temporary solution.  We bought a thin sheet of laminate, some rubber cement and a couple of paint rollers.  Basically my dad and Anthony are going to sand the current yicky countertop and carefully measure and cut the new sheet of much-nicer-looking laminate, then rubber cement it over the old one.  BOOM, prettier countertops!  (I’ve watched approximately 3894 YouTube tutorials on how to do this, lots of people do it!) Once again, this is one of those times when it’s really handy to have a small kitchen.

So the floors are going in on Saturday, the countertop on Sunday.  At some point after that, once the mud we’ve patched the wall with has dried and been sanded, we can install the backsplash, reinstall the baseboards and do so much touch-up paint it makes my head spin just thinking about it.

It’ll be beautiful, soon!  I’m nervous that we won’t be able to get the floors and the countertops done this weekend.  Next weekend is my birthday (25, baby!) so we’re busy and out of the house basically all day Friday and Saturday.  The following weekend I’ve got a dear friend’s baby shower to attend, and immediately after I get home we have overnight guests arriving; I’m really hoping everything is done before that point!  There’s nothing quite like welcoming people into your home and preparing them a lovely meal in a kitchen with giant holes in the wall and ungrouted tile floor with sharp corners.

Hello, welcome to our deathtrap/tetanus shot waiting to happen home! Please keep your shoes on and also don’t go anywhere near the kitchen because you’ll probably end up suing us otherwise.  Great to see you!

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